I knew I was supposed to write another recap before this one but the last one wasn’t that commented on and I got caught up in the story and I fell straight down the rabbit hole to this finale. I can’t stop talking to myself, and that is an excellent sign for this recap. I will definitely try these during S3.
In case you didn’t know, I am doing these AS I watch, first viewing, so all my reactions are real-time. On to the show-
Shit is going DOWN, you guys. Know how I know?
Felicity’s ponytail is TORE UP, and our girl never lets herself be seen in public with a pelt less smooth than an otter’s. The situation is dire indeed. Slade has the city looking like the flashbacks in Terminator, Team Arrow is holed up in the clock tower, the Mirakuru antidote seems to made out of Kool-Aid and Thea shot Malcolm because she probably realized that she is the least pretty Merlyn.
I bet you think things can’t get worse, right?
Haha, you are so cute.
At least we find out the antidote works, cause Roy proves once again he has impeccable timing and that his hair gel is legendary (Felicity girl, switch brands, he’s spent like a week unconscious and his hair hasn’t moved) by waking up, punching the first goon and promptly giving himself a boo-boo. Yay for the scientific method!
Ollie shoots an arrow with a zipline and Roy and Diggle go right for it, but Felicity waits until he comes with her, which immediately cued the 80s chorus in my head—
You take that girl, O. You TAKE HER AND GRAB HER AND TAKE HER.
The masks try to jump out after them, but before they can, this happens:
Courtesy of who? One badass bitch, that’s who.
Diggle would tap that right now if she wasn’t in a helicopter. Wookit dat face.
They might be fine, but the rest of the city is going to hell in an arrow quiver. Fires, panic, babies smoking cigars and of course, looting.
God, people suck.
Also, Arrow HQ has been “compromised”, which means it’s been beat down worse than Roy’s poverty. See?
Ollie asks Lyla, who came back to Starling City despite the risk for John’s sake, to stop Amanda and A.R.G.U.S. from leveling the city, or at the least buy them time. He tells the rest of the team to gather as many of the injection arrows as they can find and fill them with the cure.
Meanwhile, Thea is not as shocked as she should be for someone who shot her father/not-father in the chest. At least her outfit is darling and unlike the other characters in crisis, her hair is flawless. Must still have some of Roy’s gel in it.That stuff’ll be around after Ragnarok. Just his gel and the roaches.
She starts walking away and hears a noise, because no one is trying to leave town via the train, sure, we’ll go with that and ….oh lookie!
Malcolm was wearing kevlar and he is obnoxiously proud that Thea pulled the trigger when Tommy could not. He tells her she is “made of iron” and she is all “You’re crazy” and he is all “Possible” and she walks off and even if I should find this creepier than I do, John Barrowman is just a treasure and everything he does brings me joy.
Back at the precinct, Officer Lance is once more Detective Lance having received a crisis upgrade, and he and Laurel are together while he pep talks a group of officers into going out and doing the damn thing. It’s a nice moment where he tells them that if they weren’t scared they wouldn’t be human, but to go out and be the heroes he knows they can be. He gets called off and asks Laurel to find Sarah and not leave the precinct, so you know she will totally leave because Laurel does the exact opposite of everything and she sucks balls. I still hate you, Laurel.
Anyhoo, Laurel does find Sarah, talking to a mysterious somebody about how she doesn’t want her “sister involved in this” and then the unknown person shoots a dart into Laurel silencing her and rendering her unconscious because THEY CAN READ MY MIND. Thank you, unnamed shooter.
At Arrow HQ, Roy is helping Felicity fill arrows when she asks him what he remembers. He says that he doesn’t remember anything after trying to leave town and asks if he was out cold the entire time, and Felicity lies to him and replies that yes, he was, because no one has time for his nervous breakdown once he realizes he went on a killing spree.
At the same time, Diggle and Lyla are telling Oliver that they would need “an army” to defeat Slade, and they hear a voice say “I know. Which is why an army is what I’ve brought.”
Least secret lair ever, guys. Just put a sign out front.
Ollie tells Sarah that the League will want payment for this, and she admits that she has already given it: she will go back. She tells Ollie that she will do whatever it takes to keep her loved ones safe, and suggests he do the same. Oliver says he will, but that now that they have the cure, it doesn’t have to be “cold-blooded killing”. To be fair, Ollie, it’s right there in the name. They ain’t called the League of People With Exceptional Moral Compasses. Are you watching the same show as the rest of us? Sarah says, “to fight the unthinkable, you have to be willing to do the unthinkable.” Sounds like a theme, you guys! Nyssa tells Ollie that Slade is using the QC building as his headquarters and he tells her that it’s his way, no killing. Roy asks about Thea and Ollie tells him she was on her way out of the city and is fine. Before they leave, Ollie graduates Roy to his own red mask.
At the station, Thea gets a call from Roy who just wanted to make sure she is okay. He asks her to leave the station and come meet him at his place, and Malcolm says Roy is just another liar like Ollie and her mother. Oh, Malcolm. You gorgeous, manipulative bastard. He invites Thea to go meet him to prove it, and she threatens to shoot him if he follows. Two threats to shoot him in one day? Malcolm’s pride hits an all-time high. He tells her that when she needs him, he’ll be there. Okay, stalker.
At QC, Arrow and Canary battle their way up to the main offices, shooting people with the cure arrows along the way. Boy, I sure hope they use a clean arrow each time. You can give people diseases like that. When they make it to the conference room, this is the sight that greets them.
I guess it’s really time consuming to put those off and back on all the time, not to mention the eye greasepaint at Isabelle putting her hair up and down over and over again… Being a villain is a drag, guys.
Slade snarks that he’s surprised they came alone, and Oliver replies that they’re not alone right in time for Nyssa and the rest of the League of Assassins to crash in through the windows and visit some hellish antidote stabbiness on the room at large. Ollie keeps trying to shoot Slade, but I guess his suit got an upgrade because the arrows bounce off and he pulls an Ollie, ziplining out of the office the same way Nyssa got in.
Isabelle is thrown to her knees by Nyssa, but just as Sarah is about to deliver the killing blow, Ollie stops her. Isabelle says kill her or not, it doesn’t matter because she beat him, she took—- and then Nyssa snaps her neck. She tells Oliver that his resistance to doing what is necessary is why “you are sitting birds.” Ducks everywhere rejoice at being left out of it. Nyssa don’t play. Oliver tells Sarah that he can’t get close enough to Slade to hit him with the cure.
FLASHBACK: On the ship, Slade is injecting and killing men and he has had it. His hallucination of Shado is a total bitch and tells him to kill Ollie and end it, but when he tries to, the ship rocks him off his feet and there is an explosion. Ollie’s time is up, and the ship is set to be bombed and go down.
Back at the station, Det. Lance finds Laurel passed out on the floor and she tells him Sarah left “with that woman”. They are interrupted by a mask, who brushes off his bullets like they are donut crumbs and drags Laurel off. Thank you, mask.
Back at A.R.G.U.S., one of her minions tells Amanda that their drone is locked on Starling City so they can BOOM at will.
Felicity is leading Det. Lance to the QC conference room and he is complaining that Slade has a “hard on” for the Queens (intriguing-someone write that fanfic) and Felicity says it’s a good thing that Oliver and Thea are both out of town. He sees Nyssa and, after Sarah stops him, says he’ll work with anyone who can help him get his daughter back. This is how Team Arrow finds out Slade has Laurel.
Felicity interrupts to tell them that Slade’s men are all gathering at the Giordano Tunnel, probably to eat pizza and gossip. Oliver hates pizza so he tells Nyssa that they need to get her men and stop them. Det. Lance is all, OMG Laurel but Ollie says the city comes first, even though he knows why they took her. Det. Lance is outraged and suggests he take a break from his no-kill rule to kill the shit out of Slade. I’m paraphrasing. Felicity is not okay with this approach.
She hits him with #encouragement and gives him an idea. Let Slade outfox him, instead of the other way around.
At Roy’s, Thea shows up and he apologizes for everything. He tells her he is never losing her again and that she is the only person he has ever cared about. They kiss and I am surprising myself by how much I care. I must be drunk.
She asks him if the Arrow was watching over him and he lies and says he doesn’t know anything about it, wants nothing to do with it and just wants to be with her. She says they can leave together and he agrees, when Felicity texts:
He tells Thea that there is one more thing he needs to take care of before they go and asks him to wait at his place. Thea is tentative, but when he asks her if she trusts him she caves to the power of that jawline and says yes. Rookie mistake, T.
Meanwhile, Oliver takes Felicity, who has brushed her hair but somehow neglected to clean the blood off her forehead, back to the empty Queen mansion and asks, nay TELLS HER to stay. She says no, and he tells her he needs her to be safe and he will come get her when it is all over. I am sure what happened here has been extensively re-blogged, but still. Not my way. Let’s hit the beats like we’re the Supremes:
And he leaves her, along with my saltwater tears and the cramps in my fingers from all these screen caps. You guys, their faces are so precious. I actually basked for a minute before I went back to being a jaded bitch. There’s no kiss, but man. You didn’t really need it. Kudos to Amel and Betts.
Another very spontaneous I love you from John D to Lyla as they prepare to break into A.R.G.U.S. I guess when the world is ending it makes you misty. Inside, it’s 52 minutes to detonation and Amanda can’t get a hold of her Sergeant cause…
Our heroes are here and they are walking in formation, which is the nonverbal cue for villains to start shaking in their face masks. Ollie gives them instructions to let the cure work, no kill shots, and then both sides run at each other, and it is pretty fucking badass.
Back at A.R.G.U.S, we see why Lyla and Dig broke in, and it’s to get help from some very special psychos.
Suicide Squad! Lyla assures them she won’t boom them if they watch it, and Diggle tells them not to drop any bodies, and Deadshot, who gets all the best lines, tells him that he sure does take the fun out of it.
Back to our regularly scheduled prizewinning beat down-
Roy shoots an arrow, Det. Lance saves Nyssa from being killified and we get another Flashbackus Interruptus where we’re back at the sinking ship and in the Darren Aronofsky film that is Oliver’s life, history repeats itself as Sarah is torn away by the rushing water.
Back at Roy’s apartment packing his things, Thea stumbles over a bow and a quiver. Poor Roy is never getting laid again. Similarly frustrated but for a whole ‘nother reason is Amanda. She gave A.R.G.U.S. Staff a very deep-voiced command to fire the drone which is freaking WASTED now that the Suicide Squad shot their way into her command center and pooped her party. Because she is a shitty, shitty human being, she tells Lyla that she is committing treason and outs the proto-human in her oven out to the stunned Daddy-to-be. Diggle’s face, because HIS FACE:
Oh, Diggle. I bet this baby doesn’t even cry. When he or she wants a bottle, they will just stare at you until you cave and hand it over.
Back in the tunnel, Ollie is tired and he wants Slade to give up. Slade connects to his comm unit and he tries to get him to throw in the towel.
But Slade isn’t having it. He put a lot of hours into ruining Oliver’s life, and a little grumbly in the tumbly isn’t going to stop him now.
Slade says he has “the one you love” and Ollie is like, “Wevs dude, I am bored with you and your games” and Slade is like “NO QUITSIES!” Then he delivers this killer little speech as Oliver listens:
So Oliver goes to meet him, and Slade is ranting about how different things would have been if he had just killed Oliver with a sword like he was going to do to the one he loved. He tells Oliver to put down his bow, and when he does so, pulls out his trump card.
Christ on a cracker, Laurel. You ruin everything. You are truly the worst.
Slade continues on in the classic villain monologue, saying he has dreamed of doing to Oliver what was done to him, killing the woman he loves. Oliver asks if he sees Shado, and tells him that the girl he remembers would be horrified at what he has done in her name. Slade says he is fighting for her, and when his love’s blood is “wet on your skin” that Oliver will understand what he feels. Oliver says he already knows what it is to hate, to want revenge, and to be blinded by a danger right in front of you. Then this happens:
That’s right. She cure-stabs him. It was all a ruse and I am so heartbroken I can’t photo recap the images because each one is an RGB arrow through my shipper heart. Suffice to say Oliver saw the cameras in the mansion, correctly assumed he was being bugged and took Felicity there to tell her he loved her so Slade could see it, all while slipping her a syringe at the moment he asked her if she understood. Yeah yeah it’s super smart and I still hate him for how well he faked it.
Back to another flashback, and I don’t even care because the Arrow writers are horrible people who hate me. In a nutshell, as the ship sinks, Slade is caught under some metal and Oliver has the syringe with the cure in one hand, and an arrow in the other. Slade mouths off that he will kill everyone Oliver loves, and Oliver stabs him in the eye with the arrow and leaves him for dead. Ship sinks. WHATEVER.
Back in present time, Oliver fights and beats Slade, the drones get called off and everyone’s safe. Sarah takes off again, Detective Lance is hemorrhaging from internal bleeding and collapses on the wharf with Laurel, WHATEVER. I have stopped caring. This goddamned ‘ship broke my feels.
If Oliver wanted Slade dead, he should have made him ship Olicity.
And non-trusting Thea leaves Roy a Dear Jon letter and leaves to “be strong” and self-actualize with her sociopath non-father that she hated until one day ago because no one gets to be happy. Fucking show. Now I’m empathizing with ROY.
Oliver goes to visit Slade in “purgatory” and give his victory speech and set up his eventual return as a nemesis, and I care only marginally more in that I empathize with Slade, who at least really loved Shado and wasn’t a dirty faker.
Turns out purgatory is an A.R.G.U.S. cell underground, on the island, accessible through a manhole. Maybe it would have been kinder to kill the guy.
Back on the island, Team Arrow muses about what’s next, including getting Queen Consolidated back and figuring out what Oliver can do for a living (hint: take off your shirt). Diggle is THE MAN and so he decides to give Olicity a moment to see if they can mend what is left of my heart in the last two minutes of the show.
GOD DAMN IT.
Anyhoo Ollie knows how to fly a plane because he lied some more and was in Hong Kong and that is where he met Amanda. WHO CARES.