So I put out a post asking about which episodes I should recap, and this one and the next were mentioned and I won’t do both, but I was game to try a more serious ep, so this one’s for you, outoftheclosetshipper. If you have any suggestions, put them in comments, please! On with the recap.
We open on a warehouse for good ‘ol QC, which is like the only business in this town and they make everything. There is a thunderstorm and lightning so you know nothing will happen.
One of the doors starts popping open and instead of oh, IDK, running, they stand and face it down and things go like they go for most plebes that aren’t lucky enough to rock a costume in this hizzy:
Sucks to be a red shirt, dude. Enjoy those sweet SAG benefits.
We never see who k.o’d them and we don’t care cause Mommy’s home.
Moira saunters in with clean hair and ready to kick ass, take names, and shower alone. There’s a new pecking order in this hen house, though, and a certain someone who doesn’t need to cuddle after drunk vodka sex with her son is noticeably less than pleased:
Isabelle takes Oliver aside and tells him that he needs to take off his son hat and put on his CEO hat and think of the business, because even though Moira was acquitted by a jury, the city still holds her responsible. Oliver is like “I don’t even wear hats, hoods ftw” and she walks out just as Diggle and Felicity arrive to advise Oliver of the break-in. What did that take, like five hours? Crack security protocols, QC.
Team Arrow heads over the warehouse, where Ofcr. Lance gives them a totally wrong assessment of the events, because he is just a cop, he doesn’t even wear a hood. What the hell does he know form crimefighting, amirite?
Video capture shows just one dude but hey, dinosaurs take a long time to catch up. Just then, a gangly happy dude shows up and he sticks out like Rush Limbaugh at a Pride Parade. HE IS ADORBS, you guys.
LOOKIT THAT PUNIM. He is Barry Allen, from Central City CSI and he comes with his own theme song. So Ollie hates on him and age-shames him.
Barry has a different take. It was one very strong dude. He shows bruising patterns and guesses what was stolen and is overall competent, but that doesn’t stop Oliver from a truly priceless set of reaction shots that are worth capturing for posterity-
Give Amell an Emmy. That last one is right after Felicity, impressed with the big brain on Barry, introduces herself and Arrow no likey. Barry says it’s just “one theory…backed by a lot of evidence.” Lance tells Felicity to get their mutual friend on it and she replies, “Don’t I wish!”. Just kidding. She says he probably already knows on account he is standing right there.
FLASHBACK TIME: Sarah, Shado, Ollie and Slade stumble through doing things and as usual—
I have zero use for these except to note that if Ollie spent all this time with Sarah, he really shouldn’t have looked so surprised when he found out she was alive in Crucible.
Back in present day, Oliver is brooding watching the rain instead of working and Felicity shows him footage of the one very big dude carrying the centrifuge out of the QC warehouse. Barry wanders in and asks to set up cause Felicity told him he could, makes an adorable joke and this is the reaction from Olicity:
Oliver agrees that he can join the investigation because Felicity doesn’t specialize in forensics, but it also doesn’t hurt that she asked him super-cute.
Diggle has a feeling that Oliver isn’t saying all he knows, and of course he is right because Diggle is a goddamned genius at reading people and Ollie lies ALL THE DAMNED TIME ABOUT EVERYTHING. If Ollie ever tells you he has a condom, assume you’re going to be a mom.
At Casa Queen, Moira gets picked last for all teams and Oliver offers to fix it with a big party, because Oliver has never met anything he couldn’t fix with a party. Thea stops by and leaves and this scene is entirely purposeless except for hey, PAR-TAY.
Back QC, Barry be experimentin’ like a G. He and Felicity are as cute as bunnies in puppy suits.
Until he starts asking about the vigilante. He heard that he saved Felicity and the starts spouting off about his green costume being an homage to where he trained and his arrows being made of the wrong material for max penetration and once you diss Ollie’s penetration, Felicity ain’t having it.
She asks him why so interested, and he reveals that his mother was murdered when he was 11, and the killer remains at large. Maybe the Arrow could catch him? Oh Barry. Come give us a hug.
In the alley behind verdant, Sin asks Roy for help finding her missing friend. She intimates that she wants him to call Arrow, but Thea misreads it as Roy going to help and invites herself along. Both Sin and Roy obviously would rather get crabs than have her there but she doesn’t notice because she is Thea.Thea, you are Clueless.
None of this matters because this is happening at Rancho Queen where it is yes, raining. You better believe Barrowman wasn’t going to miss out on what lightening does for his profile. Moria’s hair? Still clean.
Malcolm, never change.
Back at the lair, Felicity and Barry have been working hard as THE CUTEST TEAM EVAR to get clues about the thief. He stole a sugar truck and is on the move.
Ollie takes all this in and asks Barry about the similar case he saw in Central City. The reaction shots are once again priceless as Ollie realizes that Barry’s story has some holes in it, especially this one from Diggle-
Ollie asks Diggle to look into what Barry is really here for, and Diggle, once again proving that he is MOTHERFUCKING GOLD say he thinks he knows.
He also insists Ollie is lying again because OBVS and Ollie is not trying to hear it. He goes out in his greenness to stop the thief.
First look at this dude, and he looks just like everyone else in Starling City–and by that I mean he wears a mask and steals trucks. I tried to make him a bit happier looking but he is a total grumposaurus rex.
Arrow catches up to him on his super-sexay motorcycle and the fight is massively one-sided. Ollie punches and kicks and goes through a windshield and stabs him in the leg with an arrow and gets tossed out of the truck into a trash heap and I am not putting any screen grabs of that in because I need to pause and pay my respects to this unexpected gift:
Ooooh yeah. It’s like Carnivale in July.
Ollie comes clean and tells the team that he ran across this super soldier serum on the island, Miracle, created by the evil Dr. Ivo. Diggle (and the rest of us) is righteously like “WTF, another island secret?” and Ollie sets up the island for all sorts of future shenanigans. Five years is long, you guys. That’s senior year HS+All of college. Anything could happen. He tells Felicity that a third component is missing, and asks her to analyze the blood on the arrow to get it. Diggle tells Ollie that Barry is not who he says he is, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS SHOW.
Lots of things happen next that I will gloss over because nothing about them tickles my fancy, like Felicity asking Barry to the Queen party, telling him she is not with Oliver, another island flashback and the whole boring plot with Sin’s missing friend that we already know leads back to the serum, because Come ON ARROW WRITERS, I DID NOT JUST FALL OFF THE SUGAR TRUCK. Of course Alderman Blood is behind this because all Aldermen are evil.
Moving on. Felicity and Barry are back doing what they do best, flirting adorably and solving crime when Ollie comes in to harsh their buzz. The progression here is exquisite.
Barry tells a supersad story about how his dad died and he saw some dude in a blur and no one believes him and apologizes because FYEAH BARRY but still he walks out and tells Felicity to find another +1. Ollie sees Felicity’s face, correctly assumes he done stuck his foot in it and is all “Barry’s pants ARE on fire” but Felicity righteously tells him that if he is a liar, it makes him about the same as everyone else because Felicity SPEAKS TRUTH.
HIS FACE. Oh Ollie. You break everything you love.
This takes us right to said party, where Ollie is supposed to reintroduce his mother to society and stuff. It goes about as expected.
But hey, at least Felicity looks crazy hot and he apologizes and strokes her arm repentantly and he does this for her, which is really quite nice.
Even if he does promise Barry will get carded at the bar. Oh, Ollie. I can’t stay mad atcha. Now take off your shirt and show me how sorry you are.
Party ends, Moira almost tells Thea about Malcolm but doesn’t, and we get another flashback where the island gang find the Miracle serum and debate injecting it into Slade, who is dying anyways. Ollie gets called away from home by Felicity, Barry gets called away back to Center City by his unhappy boss, he almost kisses Felicity goodbye but wusses out, and we confirm that Sin’s friend dies from Miracle when they find his corpse and Roy takes a picture of his bleeding dead eyes cause he is kinky like that.
Felicity in the meantime has i.d.’d the source of the sedative and tells Oliver where to go because NOTHING on this show moves without her say-so, and she very smartly counsels Oliver on the danger of trying to go kill someone who treated your arrow like a mosquito but Oliver is Oliver so he goes anyway.
Never change, O.Q. On the island, Oliver injects Slade with the Miracle.
In the Glades, Roy shows the Arrow the picture he took on his phone and doesn’t listen to Ollie’s edict to stay out of it. He says he doesn’t need him and that Arrow can’t stop him, and it leads to my favorite scene of the entire series to-date.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. He SHOOTS HIM, you guys. Roy, you don’t even know the pedigree of bear you decided to poke. No one went to his mom’s party, asshole. *Not* the night to start shit.
Back at the mansion, Moira is having a drink and a smirk when Malcolm decides to reappear to assert his parental right to be a dickhead and ruin his daughter’s life. Moira threatens him with R’as Al Ghul, who is very happy to hear he is alive so he can kill him himself, and tells him to never speak, look at, tweet, IM or FB Thea and to RUN. Malcolm is all-
Ladies and gentlemen, John Fucking Barrowman. He is not done and you know it because he damn well told you so as he walked off-scene, boom mike be damned.
Oliver has gone to meet the thief at the dispensary and questions him about who he is working for and gets a lot of non-responses. He gets mad and starts fighting him, and it leads to an ass-kicking so profound someone is probably out building a temple to it right now. Should have listened to Felicity, dude. Here are some high(low)lights:
Ow, man. He punted you like a nerf football.
Break for a flashback to the island, where Slade dies from the Miracle shot and the island gang are found by Dr. Ivo. Back in Starling City, Oliver is found by Felicity and Diggle, and they note he’s been injected with something. Pupils dilated, pulse barely there. Felicity can’t tell what it is because she can’t get into the dispensary files.
Diggle wants to call 911, but Felicity wants to protect Oliver’s identity as the vigilante. She knows they can’t save him. Cut to the Starling City train dept, where Barry is being Barry and missing his train because of course. And then—
Never change, Barry.