Outlander Photo Recap, S1E05, “Rent”-Pt. 1

In two parts b/c I am a long-winded bastage. This goes to the halfway point.

Claire is lonely and she wants even inanimate bodies of water to know this, so she busts out her best rhymes, courtesy of J-Dizzle.

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But it seems fate has smiled on her! One Scots at least has taken time out from teasing the youngest member of the party about having sex with his sister to help her quote and so, a friendship of sorts is established.

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This particular Scotsman is Mackenzie Lawyer Ned Gowan, who handles the “records and the receipts” for Dougal. He takes everything in payment from grain to goats, but this year he is putting the kebash on live pigs. He coughs the entire time he is speaking to Claire and explains it happens every year, and she mentally adroitly diagnoses him with asthma and offers him thornapple (jimsonweed) in his pipe, which helps him. Dougal sees this and gruffly pulls up stakes to keep going.

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On the way, Ned tells Claire that he studied in Edinburgh and set up a successful practice, only to get bored and decide he needed more jokes about incest in his life, hightailing it up to the highlands and offering himself in service to Jacob Mackenzie, Collum and Dougal’s father, and being clan lawyer ever since. You can tell she likes him, but not enough to stick around.

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They stop for the night and Claire is treated to a joke about an old man making fun of his old wife (mirrors were scarce back then) while the rest of the boys roar. Dougal would have been one hell of a standup.

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Then she gets handed the single most horrific-looking meal in history…

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…and while she doesna flinch, her expression is clear enough to garner Angus Mhor’s disdain and the rest of the group making fun of her in Gaelic. She feels excluded, but comforts herself with the thought that she won’t have to put up with it much longer, because she is OUTTA THERE. Then this:

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Claire tells Jamie that the Mackenzies hate her. Jamie smartly responds that they don’t trust her, except for maybe Angus, but he hates everyone. Claire asks what he thinks of her.

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I always enjoy when they lift lines from the books, but Jamie telling Claire that he can see her emotions on her face here is perfect for the scene, and her reaction, as well. Hurt and a little less trusting of him, to which he responds with the #1 standard clueless dude’s response.

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Rookie mistake, Jamie. She didn’t want the truth, dummy. She wanted empathy. MEN EVERYWHERE, LEARN FROM HIS MISTAKE. No more flirting for our hero. Claire ditches him and gives him the 18th-century version of “I’ve gotta wash my hair”. Next day, new village, and people come to pay the laird his due through Dougal.

Dougal is affable and likeable, a man who obviously knows and appreciates his tenants, calling them by name and inquiring after their families, but obviously enjoying his status as laird in all but name.

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Claire gets bored after teasing Ned about once again getting live pigs, and wanders off exploring. She hears singing it and follows it to its source, the hut of one Donalda Gilchrest, who is cautiously courteous and asks if she can help her with anything. Claire then admits to being “idle” and this working woman has just the thing….

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She takes her to the source of the singing, women “waulking“ wool. They are all smiling as Donalda introduces her, but that smile pretty much evaporates when they hear her English accent. Still, she is determined to be friendly and then she innocently mentions the smell of the bucket Donalda pours out onto the wool and guys, it’s MAGNIFICENT.

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AHAHAHAHAHAH. I can’t explain how delighted I was with this scene. Women, if you ever doubted it, DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO. Hats off to you, 18th century Scots housewives. You were made of stern stuff. There is a bit of a standoff-

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But this is why Claire is our heroine, y’all. B*tch don’t crack.

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And suddenly, two centuries in the past, in the middle of a place she knows nothing about, she is admitted, if briefly, into a sisterhood and it means EVERYTHING.

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They then have a lovely (and verra strong, but don’t tell the men) drink afterwards in one of the huts and a nice chat. Donalda’s son cries and she mentions that he will not nurse because he is teething, and now that they gave the goat away for rent, there is no milk. Claire slyly asks the distance to Craig Na Dun, and finds out it is three days from where she is. Drinks and gossip done, it is time to fill the pee bucket again (that’s what the dram was for!) and Claire gamely joins in. I won’t screencap Catriona squatting here because she admitted it was embarrassing, but her smile as Claire is so impish and game that you just LOVE HER.

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And then Angus walks in on her.

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Oh Angus. You were a comedic foil there for a bit but now I kind of hate you. Claire goes from being relatively at peace and treated with respect to being told she’s a drunk who smells like piss and manhandled and shoved all the way back to camp. She gamely retorts that Angus is one to talk, but when she arrives she goes straight to the wagon and starts untying the Gilchrest’s goat. Donalda was good to her, damn it, and Claire is going to return the favor.

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Unfortunately for her, neither Rupert nor Dougal will part with the goat. Not only because he was given in fair payment, but because there is no way either of them will bend to her will in the presence of the villagers. A lot was said about Jamie being a symbol this episode (you’ll see later on), but Claire is as well. Openly walking about with a Sassenach prisoner gives Dougal status. It goes down like so:

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And Jamie watches, but wisely does nothing. For all that I sympathize with Claire, she is not thinking. She is just sick of everyone and can’t keep it in. Dougal notices everyone watching and immediately shames her, like the good control freak he is.

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Dougal growls at her that they are leaving, and poor Claire is so done. She is at the end of her rope and then magically, this happens:

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An Englishman here? And he’s cute? AND HE’S ENGLISH? Claire is as stunned as we are. Angus tells him to mind his own business, and he clarifies that he is speaking “to the lady” to which Dougal replies that “the lady is a guest of Clan Mackenzie”. The entire thing is very tense and Angus is very ugly.

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Even Jamie goes back for his weapon, and that is some commitment from a kid who is supposed to be in fear for his life of the English.

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Trust me to find an inappropriate time to fly my ‘ship flag, but you guys JAMIE ALREADY LOVES HER. He is totes risking his safety for her here, and my heart can’t take it oh God. Nothing happens, though because the Englishman is no fool. He looks around, sees he is outnumbered and wisely retreats.

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Claire looks both heartbroken at another lost chance for escape and pissed as hell at Dougal, who repeats that they are leaving. As they pack up, they fail to notice OMFG THIS:

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Dougal ye arsehole. Now you’ve done it. That is the look of a kid who is no going to forget you insulted Mummy. Dougal‘s head is elsewhere, though. At the village he kept inviting everyone to join him later for a drink, and that evening they do.

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Of course everything’s in Gaelic (I wonder if someone translates these? Yes!) and it seems pretty friendly until a conspicuous door closes and then Dougal gets intense, as if he is telling a scary story and everyone is riveted. All of a sudden he walks over to Jamie, who is drinking with his back to the group, seemingly uninterested and once again proves he is a cold, cold bastard—and that that shinty win and Jamie’s move at The Gathering weren’t forgotten.

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All are obviously horrified and none less so than Murtagh, who looks outraged and sad all at once, and stands up to do something until a very subtle eye from Jamie causes him to sit back down. Dougal’s voice rises and one by one, the villagers drop coins in Ned’s bag. Through the entire thing, Jamie sits still as a statue. Once it is all done, Ned and Dougal count the coins and say it’s okay for the size of the place, and the mood is tense.

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Dougal, being the utter bastard that he is, tosses Jamie’s torn shirt at Claire and tells her to mend it, and Claire’s reaction is instant and terribly satisfying to watch.

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Dougal is still a cold asshole, though, and he calmly takes a drink and responds that Jamie can wear rags for all he cares. I guess better to advertise his scars. GOD WHAT A PRICK. Claire, knowing how Jamie feels about his back, waspishly goes to pick up the shirt that she now says she will mend, when Jamie beats her to it, picking it up off the floor and saying he’ll do it himself.

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It is the first time we have ever seen Jamie truly angry, and the sight is upsetting to both us and Claire, who watches him walk away with the saddest little face, glares at Dougal, and walks out.

But of course Dougal could give less of a damn because he is AN ASSHOLE.

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Next day Claire has no guile whatsoever and exposes her suspicions that Dougal is lining his pockets behind his brother’s back to Ned.

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His deadpan flattery should tell her she’s on the wrong track but she ploughs ahead and feels pretty satisfied with herself, until Ned walks off and she sees Dougal staring at her as if he can read her mind. She considers that whatever trust she built up at Geordie’s death is now gone.  You’re a bright one, Sassenach.

What follows is weeks of desolate horse rides and Jamie sitting with his shirt off and Dougal being a total tit and I won’t screen cap it here because it looks exactly as you imagine. During this montage, Claire has a nice inner monologue about feeling like a prisoner in the open landscape, helpless and trapped. Doomed to live “among strangers, 200 years in the past”. Something finally breaks the monotony, but it’s nothing good. The Watch, a Scots protection racket/vigilante force of sorts, has discovered a royal sympathizer, and they pay their respects by burning his house down.

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You think Dougal is going down to help, but no, he just wants his 10% in chicken form and then he peaces out. Jamie hides, because as Murtagh helpfully explains, the Watch would turn him in in a second for the reward.

They stop to camp and roast the chickens that evening, Angus offers Claire a piece and she rejects it.

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He tosses it at her feet and tells her to suit herself, but she sulkily retorts that she also doesn’t sit with thieves, and when she gets up to stalk away, Angus has had enough and he manages to take her to task on being judgmental while threatening her with a knife. Angus crazy, yo, and he doesn’t “get” irony.

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Jamie pops up like the Jack-in-the-Box of common sense and diffuses the argument. I love Murtagh’s expression as he watches Jamie stick up for Claire. I’ll come back to this later.

Claire sulks off to sit moodily on a stump. Jamie follows her there.

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Jamie is often kind and affable as he reasons with Claire, but here he is pretty clearly exasperated with her. She tries to tell him that where she comes from-and he cuts her off. No matter where she comes from, she is here now and she needs to reserve judgement and stay out of it. That last is said kindly, but Claire is obviously feeling misunderstood. Jamie doesn’t get that she is how she is because she is a woman with sensibilities two centuries more modern than anyone else and she just CANNOT with this fuckery.

And this is where I cut it off for now, folks. Tumblr can’t handle it all in one post. Leave a comment, I love them!

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Outlander photo recap, S1E4, “The Gathering”

Because this is the third time I’ve had to attempt this since my computer decided to %$#@! with me, this’ll be quick and dirty on the commentary. TRUST MY RAGE.

Open on the fields, where trouble seems afoot.

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But no, it’s not trouble, it’s Claire, playing with the kids and getting the scarring of a lifetime from Angus Mhor.

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Turns out he and her other “shadow” Rupert want to go back to “tha festivities” of The Gathering, the likes of which have not been seen since Rupert was a wee lad with a tiny, tiny beard. Claire is okay with returning, mostly because she was using playing with the kids as a way to reconnoiter not one, but two ways to escape tonight. Now to dispose of her guards…. but how?

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BEWBS is how. She has them draw straws, and Angus Mhor wins and the buxom lass loses and Rupert gets to escort her back while he shouts sweet nothings at her and tries to get her to lay down so he can show her what’s under his kilt. Who says romance is dead?

Auld Angus, that’s who. Claire is at the stables to get a mare for the boar hunt, which she is to attend the next day in her capacity as healer but really she wants a sweet horse she can run away with. She asks for Jamie only to find he’s not there.

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Auld Angus is like “quit sweatin’ Jamie” and she is like “did he say that?” and he’s all “OMFG STFU and here is your horse”. He tells her Jamie is best left alone until after the Gathering, but pairs Claire with a horse.

She heads back to the surgery to pound herbs, stash food and probably listen to Etta James when Geillis surprises a year off her life and hands her some port, her back story and some advice, in that order.

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Turns out Geillis came to the town alone with no prospects, seduced her “nothing” husband for his position and his fine home, and now drugs his tea with valerian and sleeps like a sociopathic baby secure in her ability to give zero fucks and do as she pleases. She notices Claire’s valerian, food and reluctance to attend and slyly tells her the Highlands are no place for a woman alone. We know. It’s called Episode 1. (CLAIRE: WATCH IT.)

Claire decides that mebbe a knife would be good, and sneaks off to the kitchen to try to get one. On the way, she sees that Angus Mhor is as good with the ladies as we all expected.

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Go on, Rupert. She almost gets a knife when Mrs. Fitz sees her and decides it’s time for another makeover. (WHERE ARE ALL THESE CLOTHES COMING FROM?)

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Still, Claire looks like a stone-cold fox. I can’t hate.

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And she’s secretly happy to be with Mrs. Fitz because it makes people less suspicious she’s up to something. During their walk, we are treated to the two cameos by Ron Moore and D-Gabs.

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Don’t call attendance if you’re not ready for school. Gabaldon. FITZ IN THE HIZZY.

So Claire and Queen Fitz are up in the balcony with all the ballers and shot-callers, and the Gathering begins. It’s like a giant shout-out circle jerk where the Mackenzies talk about how awesome they are, swear to be bros4life, and drink from a saucer LIKE MEN DO. Murtagh translates the opening speech for Claire, and then first up to the bro-up is Head Bro Dougal.

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Claire says what we are all thinking, mainly “How many more of these do I have to sit through?” She excuses herself and almost makes it out when Angus Mhor sees her and tries to get her to stay. Claire isn’t new to tha game, though, so she offers him expensive wine with cheap valerian root, which he happily downs.

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Claire advises him to share with his friends and sneaks downstairs to grab her things, only to have her momentum (and our show) brought to the screeching halt that is Laoghaire.

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She wants some dude (won’t mention him by name but his name rhymes with Schmamie) to like her, and YES WE KNOW and Claire is so obvs over her she puts some horse dung in a bottle and tells her to say a line from the Wizard of Oz and sure, this will NEVER COME BACK TO BITE HER IN THE ASS goddamnit it Leer.

Claire runs out to the hall with her food pack and promptly gets almost-raped by three drunk Mackenzies, only to have Dougal rescue her and then ALMOST RAPE HER TOO WTF.

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She has the presence of mind to slap the sh*t out of him Molly Hooper style, and he steps back and tells her to leave before something worse happens. I don’t know you ass, that was pretty bad.  When she glances down at her fallen food pack, however, he notices and Claire breaks a stool over his head, knocking him out and running to the stables where….

She trips over a lump. A SEXY lump who kinds of tires to stab her and then doesn’t. She found Jamie!

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But it’s not as happy an occasion as it could be, mostly because Jamie proceeds to poke holes in all her carefully laid out plans and, when she says she will go anyway, rightly points out that when they find her she will be a prisoner in all ways. Claire is frustrated, and says it shouldn’t matter because she is just ‘an outlander’, a sassenach, and Jamie’s apology is swift and unadorned and lovely.

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He offers to take her back, but she comes clean and tells him about her recent adventures with the drunken Mackenzie libido. Jamie’s jaw clenches here are monologues, and someone who is better than me at giffing things needs to gif them for me please.

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They are so cute together. i wish it weren’t always pitch dark for these scenes. In the end, he takes her to the garden, where there is a tunnel to the cellars where she can come in unseen, and it’s all good until they get caught.

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And lest we forget that Jamie is a) a gentleman and b) KICKASS, he proceeds to stick up for Claire when yet ANOTHER young Mackenzie tries to get rapey. All well and good until Rupert clocks him in the back of the head with his sword and knocks him out.

It’s REALLY IMPORTANT that Jamie GET DRESSED UP. No arguments here. He and Claire flirt and are generally adorable.

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He tells Claire he can’t wear the Mackenzie badge (Motto: “I shine not burn”. Unofficial motto: “I take guests,not prisoners.”) because he’s not a Mackenzie. He asks Claire if she knows his clan motto, and she admits she doesn’t even know his clan. That is when we get our first listen at Jamie’s French, and it is puuurrfect.

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Look, it’s even lit well so you KNOW it’s important! He asks Claire to find a place in the hall and as she walks away, she translates his motto for the audience: I am ready. For what? This.

The hall is full, but there is a noticeable hush when Jamie enters.

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Haha, sorry. I couldn’t help myself.

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So Jamie comes in, and Claire is all, “Oh yeah Jamie is here” and Murtagh is all “NOO WTF he should have hid” and Claire is like, “yeah, that was me” and Murtagh is all “CLAIRE YOU ARE THE WORST.” Turns out that if Jamie pledges fealty, he would be for all intents and purposes a Mackenzie proper, and if the clan wanted, they could vote him Laird when Collum passes, jumping both over his son and his brother. This is how Dougal feels about that:

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If he doesn’t swear his oath, he may end up kicked out of the castle and hunted by the English without the protection of the clan.

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It is a Sophie’s choice of suckiness, and much diplomacy is needed. Jamie starts out by kneeling, but promptly gets up and says though he considers Collum both kin and an ally, he can’t swear an oath because he already owes one to his own name (not McTavish). The reaction shots are PRICELESS.

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Everyone is sure he’s-a-gonna-get-it, but then he looks his uncle in the eye and charmingly, sweetly promises him his obedience as kin and laird, and to do his bidding as long as he is on Mackenzie lands. Collum isn’t made of stone, y’all. He hands him the saucer and Jamie, ever the showman, downs it in one go and walks out to the cheers of everyone present.

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Everyone seems happy with the outcome except Dougal, who still glares at his nephew as he walks out.

Next day, boar hunt. Claire didn’t think she would be here, and it shows in her piss-poor attitude.

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She mocks the highlanders for hunting “little pigs” and Rupert rightly says she must have never seen one. She is so disdainful she walks leading her horse and berates a youngster with a slash in his leg before being attacked by a boar, saved by Dougal, and then having him scared off by a scream coming from deeper into the woods.

The screamer is Geordie, who has a gashing leg wound that Claire proceeds to tourniquet only to find that his entrails have been gored. She speaks to him of his home while Dougal holds him, undoes her tourniquet, and lets him bleed to death while hiding the true extent of his injuries from him. He dies, Dougal cries and it is awful. The entire scene is 4:35 of reminding you that LIFE IS GONE LIKE THAT and it sucks.

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These scriptwriters are magnificent sociopaths and I love them and I hate them.

The hunting party comes back to the castle sad and subdued, so in true y chromosome fashion, Dougal decides to make himself feel better by beating the crap out of other dudes through the magic of sport. In this case, shinty. Jamie is only too happy to oblige, and you get the feeling that these two have been waiting to have a go at each other for quite a while. This has to be seen in glorious motion to be properly appreciated.

In any contest of new buck vs. old, there comes a point where only a body slam will get your point across.

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Jamie leaves with his ever-permanent smile, but Dougal isn’t amused.

Later that day he shows up at Claire’s surgery to try to thank her for what she did for Geordie. She says she didn’t do anything and wishes she could have done more, but he tells her that she gave him a peaceful place to be and that is more than most get. She admits to seeing many men die violent deaths, and he offers to take her to “collect rents” because he might need a healer along. This makes ZERO sense and despite the fact that I saw him get his ass beat and cry, I still don’t trust Dougal. Neither does Claire, if looks are anything to go by.

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But at least maybe we can get better-lit sets next week.

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If you made it all the way to the end, drop me a comment! It would be much appreciated!

 

S1E5 Part 1

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My favorite scene, Outlander S1E3 “The Way Out”

So I am way late, but it’s been a hell of a week. No full recap, but I did manage to get around to documenting this bit of sassafras, which is good because later on in the episode I wanted to smack Jamie in his stupid face. L’EER FREE ZONE, y’all.

Claire being a modern woman decided that drinking her cares away is solid coping, and thank God for it, because Jamie had to go be a gentleman and escort her to the surgery and that in turn gave us THIS:

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Jamie is so standup when he isn’t kissing girls who’ll be girls when they’re fifty. But Claire isn’t. She’s all, “Hey while you’re down here, might as well look under your shirt because NURSE and REASONS.

Attagirl, Claire. We speak your name.

They then both proceed to be painfully, SEARINGLY ADORABLE.

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(sigh) You guys. This is the hottest thing ever with two fully-dressed people. Still, Claire cries uncle in the World’s Sexiest Game of Chicken because blah blah stupid Frank.

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BUT THE LOOKS.

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I’ll be in my bunk.

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You know you’re a highlander when… (S1Ep2)

I need to stop, but not before I share in the joy of this scene. Are you holding a stuffed animal and a glass of wine?  Then scroll, because you’re as prepared as you are going to get.

Ah, Rupert. I know you wanted to punch South instead of North. There is no shame in this bromance game.

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My favorite scene, Outlander Ep 2, “Castle Leoch”.

Not only is it mine, but it has to be yours. I won’t lie, I have no idea what they were talking about during this scene, I was so into their faces. Someone needs to give both these kids an Emmy.

Castle Leoch, Claire discovers she can’t outdrink a Scots and the next day resolves to spend some time re-bandaging and feeding Jamie. Jamie tells her he is a wanted man, about Black Jack trying to use rape as a plot device and we are treated to this:

Was everyone not RIVETED? If you were not, you are dead inside. DEAD.

Claire is a woman out of time, not out of her damn mind. And Jamie can tell. Lookit dat face. This is not the face of a man who dinna ken his lady-mojo.

I know, honey. You two are adorable. I want to put you in my Barbie Dream Scottish Keep and smoosh your faces together with all the finesse and passion in my romantic teenage heart.

Preach, Claire, I am buying what you two are selling. Still, it’s only episode 2, so that bastard Old Angus had to come and ruin our fun.

Oh, you bastard. I hate you so much right now.

Still, there’s always episode three, right?

[SPOILERS after the jump]

Then I saw the preview for episode 3.

OH for %$#@! sake, McTavish/Mackenzie/Fraser.

Jamie, you have some ‘splainin to do.

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My favorite scene, S1 E1, “Sassenach”.

Claire tries to escape. I have no idea why. You would have to pry me from that man’s thighs with a crowbar. Real dialogue below the pics for the die-hards.

Jamie: Lost yer way?

Claire: Hope you haven’t been misusing that shoulder. You’re hurt.

Jamie: This’ll not just be my blood….Not much of it, anyway.

Dougal and the others will be waitin’, further up the stream. We should go.

Claire: I’m NOT going with you.

Jamie: (point his sword at her) Yes ye are.

Claire: What, are you going to cut my throat if I don’t?

Jamie: Why no. But ye don’t look that heavy. If ye won’t walk, I shall pick ye up and throw ye over my shoulder. D’ye want me to do that?

Claire: (tearfully) No.

Jamie: Well then. Suppose that means yer comin’ with me.

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Watched the Outlander premiere

And I realize I now have another otp to blog about and nothing will be cooked or washed ever again and my children will forget what I look like and I just don’t care.

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